Lady of the Land
9/24/20242 min read
Felipe has been encouraging me to write for quite a while now. Sometimes though, I feel like I freeze. Almost as though it’s easier to stand still, than lean into something that feels awkward or uncomfortable. The thought of writing about our life feels insignificant compared to all of the other things I “could” be doing. Yet ultimately, I think he’s right, I do love to write and life is too short not to pursue what brings you joy.
I love that this was the first photo we decided on for our blog. I feel like it speaks volumes to this moment in our lives. Being in the garden is one of my happiest places. Even when my mind is filled with doubts about my impending motherhood journey or the insecurities of my changing body; I find solace in the garden. It’s an interesting sense of peace that is hard for me to describe. At times, it is that sense of being “in the zone,” but at others my mind still wanders to my worries but I get to work through them as I work. It’s healing for me. Now, several months later, I just find myself standing in our garden admiring how much our plants have grown. I often think about how excited I am for our first harvest together and saving seed for next year. It feels very aligned and special that our baby is growing as our first garden is growing.
Our beautiful “Fairy House” lies behind me in this photo. A one room yurt, with no running water and the most incredible view of the mountains in Southeast Alaska. Shortly after we had settled back into the Fairy House and decided to make it our home, we knew we wanted to grow our own food and began the process. I wanted to make it a hugelkutur garden, using all of our felled tree branches, and Felipe carried up every bag of soil, every garbage bin of compost, manure, mulch and sea weed. I struggled, watching him doing so much of the labor. My pregnancy has luckily been a very physically uneventful experience so far, besides the exhaustion. Yet, I was not ready to struggle so much against my independent streak, and ego to prove that I have “to do it all.” I’ve had to learn about my own limits, and after some tears I’ve been doing my best to practice gratitude and appreciation-rather than succumb to my frustrations. And honor that I too am carrying ‘a huge load’ though it may look different.
Together, with our shared skills and vision, we installed our first garden together! Now our gorgeous garden is growing full of sunflowers, marigolds, cabbage, kale, peas, lettuce, orach, borage, potatoes (Felipe’s Most Prized Potato Towers, I might add) and so many nasturtiums. It fills me with joy whenever I spend time in it. And now, it fills me with even more joy as we await our own little ‘seedling’ in Juneau. I think about how we’ll come home to flowers and our cozy wood stove, with our baby wrapped up in our nest bed. It’s very simple living, and that’s how we like it. At this moment- I am filled with so much excitement as we enter fall and come upon this next chapter in our life together.